Women, Beauty & Body Hair: Liberation or Lifelong Battle?

A Letter to My Niece is a series where I reflect on my journey through womanhood, including its challenges, joys, and milestones. I explore themes of self-discovery, well-being, relationships, menstrual cycle, and resilience. Through these letters, I aim hoping to inspire and connect with others.

Dear Ella,

I wanted to share something I recently wrote that I thought you might find interesting. It’s a post titled Womanhood & Beauty: Armpit Hair or No Armpit Hair?, where I explore the deeply ingrained belief that women’s body hair needs to be removed to be considered clean and desirable.

For most of my life, I never questioned this. I grew up during the era of Brazilian waxes, where removing body hair was just something women did. It wasn’t up for debate—it was a rite of passage, a mark of femininity, something to aspire to. I vividly remember the excitement I felt as a young girl.

I had prayed for this moment, and finally, it arrived—I could shave! It was as if that one simple act magically transformed me into a woman. Little did I know, I had just unknowingly enlisted in a lifelong battle against my own body hair. I would shave, only to wake up the next morning, greeted by a fresh army of stubble.

Not once did I stop to ask, Why am I fighting a battle I can never win? Summers were the worst—endless shaving for that fleeting moment of smooth legs, only to be rewarded with razor burn, nicks, and regret. That’s when I leveled up to waxing… and, in a moment of desperation, even tried electrolysis.

Last fall, a friend challenged me to see how long I could go without waxing my armpits and legs. Easy. Winter was coming, I wasn’t planning any beach getaways, and frankly, I could save time and money. Challenge accepted.

At first, it felt like a fun little experiment—how long could I go before needing to wear a dress? But now, six months later, I’ve hit an unexpected dilemma. Spring is around the corner. Tank top season is looming. What do I do?

I know one thing for sure—my legs are getting waxed immediately. But my armpits? That’s where things get complicated. Could I keep the hair and free myself from the expectation to remove it? Could I redefine what femininity means to me? Or will I cave the moment I need to wear a sleeveless top?

The truth is, when I see women with armpit hair, I admire them. There’s something incredibly bold, rebellious, and undeniably powerful about rejecting societal expectations so effortlessly. It’s sexy in its own way. And yet, I hesitate. I worry about how others might perceive me. Will they think I’m unkempt? Will they judge me? Most importantly, why do I care?

This got me thinking—where did these beauty standards come from in the first place? It turns out that for most of history, body hair on women was considered completely natural. Ancient Egyptians and Romans removed it for hygienic and aesthetic reasons, but the modern obsession with female hairlessness didn’t take hold until the early 20th century.

In 1915, as sleeveless dresses became fashionable, razor companies saw an opportunity and began marketing razors to women. Gillette introduced the first women’s razor, the Milady Décolletée, promoting smooth underarms as the new standard of beauty. By the 1940s, as hemlines rose, leg shaving followed suit. What started as a fashion trend quickly became an unspoken rule.

Then came the bikini wax. The Ancient Egyptians used sugar-based pastes for hair removal, a technique known as sugaring that’s still practiced today. But in the 1960s and ’70s, during the sexual revolution, the popularity of the bikini made waxing mainstream. In the 1990s, the Brazilian wax took things even further, removing almost all pubic hair in response to the growing thong bikini trend. What was once a personal grooming choice became a widespread expectation.

Today, the hair removal industry is worth billions, profiting off the idea that body hair is something to be ashamed of. And yet, we’re starting to see a shift. More women are questioning beauty norms and redefining femininity on their own terms. Social media has played a huge role in this movement, with brands like Billie creating razor ads that don’t shame body hair but instead empower women to make their own choices.

Ultimately, that’s what it comes down to—choice. If removing your body hair makes you feel good, then do it. If growing it out feels liberating, embrace it. The most important thing is that it’s your decision, not one imposed by outdated beauty standards.

This whole experience has made me reflect on how much of what we consider “personal preference” is actually shaped by social conditioning. Do we really prefer something, or have we just learned to?

So, I wonder:

• Have you ever stopped to think about why you remove your body hair?
• Do you feel pressure to do it, or does it feel like a genuine choice?
• Would you ever go months without shaving or waxing just to see how it makes you feel?
• How do you define femininity, and do you think body hair plays a role in that definition?
• What other beauty standards do we follow without questioning them?

For me, this journey isn’t over. Maybe I’ll shave my armpits. Maybe I won’t. But at least now, I know that whatever I choose, it will be on my own terms.

I’d love to hear what you think. Have you ever questioned a beauty standard you once followed without thinking? Let’s talk about it!

Your Titi ❤️

Claudia

What began as a quest to ease my migraines and allergies has since transformed me into a more self-aware, compassionate person with a deep concern for others and the world around me.

Learn More